Miracles Are Happening

Deb had a visit with Dr. Issam Nemeh on Thursday. If you recall, he is the doctor who practices Acute Meridian Acupuncture and is well known for the healing services that he performs (

http://www.drnemeh.com/home.htm). We told him about Deb's voluntary muscle movement of her thighs, hamstrings and gluts and he took it all in stride. From his examination and treatment, he noted Deb's increased muscle mass and tone and reflexivity, and he said that there was a measurable increase in nerve activity.

He said, only half jokingly, that he is shooting for her to be walking by July! It is so refreshing and uplifting to deal with a health care professional who is primarily guided by his faith. He is truly doing what he feels God has called him to do.

Dr. Nemeh also reminded us that Deb's healing is as much a matter of our state of mind as it is her of her physical healing. While he insists that her healing is inevitable now, ("It cannot be stopped now!", he said), he warned that the process can be slowed by negative thinking and emotions. His advice was to not focus on the things we see and hear around us, but to keep God in the forefront of our mind. It was also interesting to me that as a devout Christian, he said that people put too much emphasis on what religion someone belongs to and not enough on the persons faith.

It is always a rejuvenating experience visiting Dr. Nemeh and it renews our assured expectation that Deb will be walking again in the very near future.

Just a quick update

Just a quick note to keep everyone informed. Deb continues to make slight movements with her thighs. The movement hasn't gotten stronger yet, but she does it regularly now, everyday she is able to squeeze her legs at will. She will probably be embarrassed that I tell you that she has also started to squeeze her gluteus maximus. Don't tell I told you this, and no, there will NOT be video of that part. I do plan to have video of her legs soon.

DEB IS MOVING HER LEGS!!!

I know it has been almost a year to the day that I last posted here, but do not be mistaken, our hope and our faith have not waned. In fact, I am writing now to share with everyone Deb's exciting progress! She has actually begun to move the muscles in her legs! Very small movements, but very definitely conscious movement. She can just start to squeeze her thigh muscles, bringing her knees a little closer together when lying on her back with her legs outstretched.

Her moving her legs has not been a one time occurrence either. She has moved them about eight times over a little more than 2 weeks.

At first, I was even more excited than Deb was, being moved to tears at the site of my wife beginning to realize results from many long months of effort. At first it puzzled me a little why she didn't seem more ecstatic. She was definitely grateful and thankful to God, just not overwhelmed as I was.

After talking with her about it, it dawned on me, she had always visualized herself walking, and this was just a tiny step which, through her faith, she had been thoroughly expecting. This and the fact that she remembered having been able to walk helped to put it in perspective for her. I, on the other hand, had never in my life seen my wife move her legs at all! It was a first time experience for me, after having believed at one time that this was an impossibility.

Please continue to pray with us for Deb's continued journey toward her goal walking once again.

Findings from Brucker Biofeedback

I finally get to share a complete update from our journey to Florida for Deborah to undergo 3 weeks of Brucker Biofeedback. The results are very promising. It was confirmed that Deborah's injury is NOT "Complete" like she was told definitively by doctors 18 years ago! From the full, 3-page report we received from the Brucker Biofeedback Institute:

At L2-4 (lower back), initial measurements of 4 percent of normal bilaterally were able to be increased to 6 percent of normal. The hip flexors initially showed only trace responses of voluntary motor neuron recruitment and they were able to be increased to 2 percent of normal. The quadriceps initially showed no voluntary motor neuron recruitment and were able to be increased to 2 percent of normal with spasm. Overall, it is apparent that Ms. Akbar has an incomplete spinal cord injury at C7 with substantial amount of long term motor neuron recovery. She has responded to the EMG Biofeedback procedures extremely well gaining significant increases in voluntary motor neuron recruitment to the muscles below the level of her spinal cord injury particularly the upper extremities and trunk. As a result of these increases of voluntary motor neuron recruitment it will now be possible for Ms. Akbar to gain substantial increases in strength and function with an aggressive exercise and therapy program.

We have already consulted an exercise physiologist and had our doctor refer us to a specialized physical therapy center that has the EMS (Electrical Muscle Stimulation) and quadrisizer to exercise Deborah's leg muscles as recommended in the Brucker Biofeedback report:

The paraspinal muscles had major gains and back extension exercises such as
leaning forward and bringing the back into extension should result in
significantly greater strength. The hip flexors and quadriceps now show some voluntary motor neuron recruitment and exercises to strength these such as attempts at knee extension and hip flexion with assistance would be recommended. Also, electrical stimulation used on these muscle groups would be helpful.

Deborah is already working hard on her own exercising her upper body and torso to continue gaining strength. She is also dieting fairly strictly with the goal of losing enough weight to be able to support her weight with her arms for when she is ready to use leg braces and a walker.

Deborah is as determined as ever to continue this amazing journey!

Thank you all so much for your thoughts and prayers!

We are down to our last 2 days (2 more biofeedback sessions) here in Florida! (We are leaving Friday, 3/28).

We had limited Internet access (I am in a Miami-Dade Public Library writing this) so I apologize about not sending info before this.

The progress that Deborah is making is so exciting. They started testing and exercising her shoulders and worked all the muscles down her arms then started working on the back muscles. The idea is to give her as much immediate improvement in mobility as possible, improving balance and arm strength.

We have found that Deborah has strong nerve signals far below the level of her injury, meaning that the damage was definitely not "complete" as her doctors originally told her. A couple or the therapist said that they have never seen anyone with an injury at her level (C7 - C8, cervical/neck area) have such strong nerve activity so low down the spine (L2-L4, lumbar area) is still quite strong. The outlook for her future mobility looks very good. Tomorrow we will find what kind of impulses she has in her upper legs.

We are learning exercises and movements that will strengthen her to have much more balance and motion. I am already helping to stand Deborah up as she bears a small amount of resistance on her legs. The DREAM Continues!

Please continue your thoughts and prayers! We can't wait to share more success!

In Honor of Dr. Bernard Brucker (1946 - 2008)

Deborah and I would like to express our sincere condolences to the family of Dr. Bernard Brucker on the news of his passing on February 16.

He was the founder and director of the Brucker Biofeedback Center and developed the Brucker Biofeedback method of using electromyography (EMG) feedback techniques, that helped patients' brains reconnect with their bodies.

He was also one of the founders and the original co-director of the Miami Project to Cure Paralysis.

We had looked forward to meeting Dr. Brucker on our trip to Florida on March 10 as he made a practice of greeting each patient of his treatment center personally. Dr. Brucker will be greatly missed and the medical community has lost a great pioneer.

Dr. Brucker's work will continue at the numerous rehabilition centers he helped to found.

http://www.miamiherald.com/512/story/422291.html

THANK YOU FOR YOUR SUPPORT

Updated February 26, 2008. Deborah and I would like to take this time to thank everyone who has so generously donated so far to our efforts to have Deb receive treatment at the Brucker Biofeedback Institute in Miami, FL. We cannot express enough our heart felt gratitude for the support you all have shown and can only pray that we will make the most of it and deliver an unforgettable tale of triumph before this grand journey is finished. Below is the list of donors as of the date of this posting. Special thanks go out to Mr. Joe Schroeder for lending his considerable voice and support to our cause. May the Peace and Blessings of God be with you all.

Sharon Battle
Catherine Conwell
Terrance Conwell
SourceCon Corporation
Afri Creations
Cyndi Dawson
JoAnn Donahue
Good Harmony Enterprises
Barbie Figueroa
Lakesha Ford
Debora Gabinet
Pearl Gaines
Chris Galloway
Angel Garcia
Lee Green
Hussein Hill
Diane Hochman
Dave Ireland
Karl Johnson
Derrick Jones
Victor Kalman
Joe Knaack
Ilias Kone
Angela Lester
Mike Litman
Gaye Lowenstein
Gung Ho Marketing
Way Out Marketing
PJM Internet Marketing
Doug Middleton
Debra Morrison
Adrian Pope
Ed Pratt
Counter Racism
Donald Robinson, eSkills Inc.
Joe Schroeder
Tony Seawright
Dr.Phil Sebastian
Dr. Mike Shapiro
Jimmy Smith
Jill St. James
Nick Talladino
Enterprise Technologies
Vera Waters
Brian Winfield


We would also like the thank the following talk shows and hosts for interviewing Deborah:
Tommy Webb - webbradio.com

Hussein Hill - Oral Buffet, NBBTA.org/channel2.htm

Louie Jones - WCFJ 1470 AM, Chicago

Lovely Brown - Sistah Talk, blogtalkradio.com

Alonzo Brown - AASAP Radio, blogtalkradio.com

El & Syl - The El & Syl Variety Show, blogtalkradio.com

Global Influence, blogtalkradio.com

Carla Barnes - Inspire "You" Series, blogtalkradio.com

An Hour to Empower, blogtalkradio.com

Gregory & Brian - I Believe, blogtalkradio.com

Sound Off Now, blogtalkradio.com

Pop Wiz - blogtalkradio.com

In Her Own Words

I thought I would share with you an interview that Deborah did with Tommy Webb on webbradio.com. In it, she talks more in depth about the Brucker Biofeedback treatment and what it has done for thousands of patients with neurological damage.



Peace, Love and Abundant Blessing to you all!

The Start of Something Huge

Sometimes the pursuit of a personal goal or dream begins to take on a life of its own, becoming bigger than what we originally asked for. It’s not always true that you have to see exactly what it is that you want to happen before starting a journey, sometimes what you are to become or what you are supposed to do comes to you. William Shakespeare, in Twelfth Night said, "Be not afraid of greatness, some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them." I truly believe that greatness is being thrust Deborah's way. Her pursuit to walk again has grown from focusing on just her own well being to becoming a mission to help as many people as she can and to spread the word as far and as wide as she can about the procedure that has shown much promise in helping people with all types of neurological damage.

The Brucker Biofeedback has gone overlooked for almost 30 years even though it boasts a 98% success rate in providing at least some improvement in muscle control to its patients. Even yoga and acupuncture, certainly no where near as clinically proven, have a greater acceptance in the medical community than this procedure. Deb's search for her own improvement has now become a quest to broaden awareness of Brucker Biofeedback, increase the scope of its clinics and raise money for individuals who might not otherwise afford treatment. Upon completion of her treatment in March, regardless of her personal outcome, we intend and are taking steps to establish the First Step-Next Step Foundation to further these causes. Any funds raised in excess of the cost of Deb's treatment will go for this purpose. She and I both feel that it is a shame and a travesty that people with neurological damage might be doomed by their doctor or medical coverage to accept life with major limitations when there might be an option that could give them back most if not all of their physical functioning.

I know I am somewhat going out on a limb discussing this at such an early stage, especially when we are still trying to secure funds for Deb's treatment, but I feel that the sooner we begin to get out the message the better. I will soon be sharing with you more of Deb's specific efforts toward this worthy cause.

Feel Free to Donate

I wrote here previously about our plans to travel to Florida for Deb to receive biofeedback treatment for her condition at the Bruckner Biofeedback Center in Florida (http://www.mjhh.org/spservices_bio.html). The center has worked with many individuals to teach them to more effectively use motor cells in the brain and spinal cord. Our intention is that Deb will regain control of the nerves and muscles that are still active in her body and that she will eventually walk again. Check out the link to learn more about what they do.

We learned that our insurance will not cover the treatment because they consider it to be "experimental". Not to be deterred, we decided to raise the necessary funds ourselves. The treatment itself will take 3 weeks at the cost of $3000. Deb's three week session is scheduled for the first week in March, and with the end of the year approaching, time is running short for us to generate the money for the treatment and the hotel stay for our family. To help us reach our goal, we have established the Deborah Akbar Treatment Fund to which our friends, family and well-wishers can donate to help us defray the expenses. We ask that anyone interested use the "Donate" button on this blog to donate. We really appreciate and are most grateful for any and all help and the good that it does will be chronicled in detail at this site.

We hope for much Peace, Happiness and Abundance to you!

Deb's Family

I got to spend time with Deb's extended family this Saturday and it hit me where it is she gets some of her positive spirit and inspiration from. It was a clambake hosted by the patriarch of family that fostered her from the time she was 12 until she left for the Army at age 17. I always thought it was a blessing that Deb was brought into a family that truly loved, cared for and accepted her at a time when she could have started making choices that would have led her down a number of paths all too often travelled by young women with troubled childhoods. I found that her situation was more than just luck or coincidence, though I truly believe she attracted herself to the situation through her own imagination and faith. But her case was not unique in the family that I got to know a little better this weekend.

I learned that at least four of the cousins that Deb grew up with were also adopted or fostered into at least 3 different households in this clan. I guess the reason I had never heard this news before was that once accepted into this family, there is no distinction between how one is brought into this family, through birth, marriage or simple heartfelt embrace. Somewhere, this entire clan was instilled with the idea that sharing as much love as possible didn't end with blood ties.

The patriarch of the clan is an executive at NASA with a ton of community involvement and recognition. He greeted everyone at the clambake as if they were the guest of honor. He even remembered that I was fasting until sundown because of the Muslim observance of Ramadhan and that I didn't eat pork. He set aside some all-beef hot dogs cooked separately just for me. It was only the second time he had met me.

Deb's Mom is a very sweet and level-headed woman full of caring as well as grit. Though no one is perfect, she gave my wife just what she needed at a critical point in her life, a stern hand applied with love and caring. She continues today, letting my young adult son stay with her while he gets his life on track. I'm sure she can handle this challenge just as well, if not better, being wiser than before.

I am very grateful to everyone who helped to guide my Deb to be the woman I have come to cherish.

Deb is busy at a frantic pace

Sorry I haven't updated in a while, life is still wonderful, if not better. Deb has been busier than George Foreman with a coupon to an all-you-can-eat buffet. Since I last posted, she has gotten involved with 2 online businesses and started a job that was offered to her, in part based on this blog!

The businesses both involve debt relief or debt clean-up. The first one she found because we started out as clients ourselves. She started hounding the agent to let her get involved. It’s not MLM, so he wasn't looking for 'down lines' or anything, but she was so persistent that he finally brought her in and even sold her some of his expensive leads at ½ price to get her started. She did in a month what most new agents with the company take 4 to do. She was on the phone from morning until night, calling emailing, explaining and closing. Deb even came up with her own ideas about networking and prospecting, using networking sites that are usually over-used and abused.

Many people were impressed with her fresh approach to contacting them directly through these sights and some agreed to send business her way when the opportunity arose. This is how the second business came about. Its a network marketing credit repair business. When the guy decided to exchange leads with Deb, he said, "You might as well join and get the credit for any leads you send me." He actually paid the nominal start-up fee for her, saying he would get it back on her first sale. Everybody wins!

The job she started is commission based. She had approached another mortgage broker, this one in New Jersey and he initially said he wanted nothing to do with her. I guess on hunch, he decided to Google her and found this blog. It changed his mind and he decided to call her back. She had mentioned what a great cold prospector she was and he told her, "You know, the last part of my business plan that I have not put into place is someone to contact the leads I have for refinancing ARM loans." He offered a generous commission schedule, 401k, website and a VoIP-hosted PBX phone that is essentially a New Jersey number operating here in Cleveland. WOW! There she goes again, attracting the right people, resources and circumstances to herself. I can't make this stuff up people.

Next time, I'll tell you more about what the goal toward which she is working so feverishly. Until then and beyond, much Love, Peace and Abundance to you all!

I want to share with you some of the books that Deb and I (mostly Deb :) ) have read and enjoyed over the last six months or so. As you can see, they are primarily about self-improvement, peace of mind and attracting abundance (only a part of which is wealth ;) ). I started to give a brief synopsis of each, but I figured that would make it long and boring (and take yours truly forever.) Not all positive thinking books are just alike, so Google each author and/or title and I'm sure you'll find something to your liking. I highlighted my favorites in orange.

count your blessings	john f. demartini
you can heal yourself	louise hay
wealth beyond reason	bob doyle
excuse me your life is waiting	lynn grabhorn
quantum success	sandra oconnor
happy pocket full of money	david gikandi
spiritual marketing	joe vitale
think and grow rich	napoleon hill
easier than you think	richard carlson
science of getting rich	wallace wattles
science of being well	wallace wattles
silent language of peace	heather macauley
attracting abundance with EFT	carol look
acres of diamonds	dr russell conwell
beyond positive thinking , power of intention	dr. robert anthony

Doing Voice Overs

My apologies for taking so long to get back here. With the getting set up in the new home and dealing with the severe cold spell in NE Ohio, I kind of got away from my blogs. My wife is up to all kinds of stuff as usual, with several things to keep both of us busy. Her newest focus is doing voice over work for radio and TV advertising, voice messaging recordings, books on tape and website introductions. She figures she has always loved to talk, so she might as well make a living doing it. She is putting a lot of energy into getting things off the ground. We have our computer set up with a professional microphone and recording/editing software so that she can do demos. So far, she's doing voice work for a couple of independent filmmakers and a book of poetry she is recording. I figured out how to embed one of her demo clips in the blog, so you can see for yourself how professional and smooth my baby sounds.


On the healing front, it is amazing how God sends people into your life when you ask Him sincerely for guidance. We had an old chair that we wanted to get out of the garage, so my wife put it on Craig's List (a local trading website) for free to whoever would come and get it. The first person to respond was a young lady named Lisa who recently moved her from Lithuania. She needed furniture for her home/office. She just happened to be a massage therapist and when she saw my wife in her wheelchair, she offered to "pay" for the chair by offering her a therapy session. She has been back several times at no charge because, she says, she likes being able to help someone who is so positive and upbeat about their situation.

Driving Again

Let me tell you about Debbie learning to drive, getting her license and buying a customized van that allows her to drive with her hands. She had gotten so fed up with trying to catch city buses where only perhaps one in five where wheelchair lift equipped, and of those, the driver often claimed the lift wasn't working. I always thought that they just didn't feel like bothering with the assisting her and attaching the safety straps to her chair. In fact, one did once leave the straps off, saying they weren't on the bus. Sure enough, upon turning a corner, Deb's chair tip and she crashed to the floor of the bus. Shaken and bruised, she was eventually OK, and it wound up costing the transit system for physical therapy and damages; they eventually wound up paying for a big chunk of her van.
There were alternatives. The community responsive transit, could be scheduled, but good luck trying to get to an appointment on time with them, or getting back home in time for dinner after a 1:00 doctor's appointment. Private services were more prompt, but at $80 or more for a round trip, it was prohibitive.
So Deb decided she had to drive again. First she had to get an assessment as to whether she could control even a customized vehicle. Then she had to find a vehicle that was in suitable condition to customize. If you thought a used car dealer might try to take advantage of a single female looking to buy a van, imagine when they thought they had a single female in a wheelchair buying a van. Of course Deb was too stubborn to wait until it was convenient for me to go with her to shop for her van (this was before we were married). It was funny to see how a van that was "a great deal" at $16,000 when Deb was by herself, dropped like a rock to $15 then to $11 thousand when I went with her to look at it, and I don't even consider myself a hardened negotiator.
That first van was huge. It was a customized Dodge Ram that was probably once someones pride and joy. Pink and grey on the outside, it had a TV/VCR combo (for a 1991 model, that was big time customizing, not the factory DVD jobs of today), a CB radio and tinted windows. We had to take it about 2 hours away to get it customized. They tricked it out with hand controls and a huge lift that could probably crush a compact car if you let unfold on top of it. Now Deb was ready to ride in style! She has had 2 since then, but somehow, that first van that gave her back her freedom (and for us, more places to go together) will always be special.

Auto Ambulator

Deb and I heard of a rehabilitation program by HealthSouth Rehabilitation using a revolutionary tool called the Auto Ambulator. The machine actually moves the patient around in a walking motion while allowing the person's unused muscles to do as much of the work as possible. My wife wrote to the physical therapist in charge of the Auto Ambulator program in Erie, PA (HealthSouth's nearest location). I believe his name was Sean. He returned my wife's email. He told her to contact a doctor at the Cleveland Clinic hear in Ohio who did some work with Christopher Reeves, and told her to say he referred her. I think its amazing that he responded so quickly. He also said that it would probably take massive amounts of exercise for my wife to walk again but that it might be worth the effort. So, keep us in your prayers and your positive vibrations!

Miracles DO Happen!

I know its been quite some time since I posted here. Primarily, we have been busy with the move to our new home and getting the computer and broadband set up again. I have WONDERFUL news and I just wish I could post video here. Debbie actually moved a major muscle group in her legs, pulling her knees towards each other! This is something she hasn't been able to do for 17 years. The movement was slight but quite visible as she lay on the bed. I tried to get a good video of it, but after I got her sweatpants on (couldn't have it x-rated), it seems her muscles had tire out and the movement wasn't as pronounced on the video, but if you watch closely, it can be seen. We were both so extremely elated that I was jumping up and down like Herman Munster at his birthday party and Deb could barely speak. We shared the good news with her sister, Suzette, who reveled in the excitement as well. The only other person that Deb mentioned it to was her herbalist, who just kind of looked at her as if to say, "ok, that's nice"...almost as if she were not surprised at all that Deb would be making progress.
The kind of buzz that I got from this happening was enough to have me walking on air for days. How easy is it to be joyful and energetic after witnessing such a miracle. I am so grateful and elated for being able to see the love of my life make strides toward something we once thought was impossible. Please join me in giving thanks and praying for her continued progress. Thanks!

This post was started because of the idea that my wife, Deb, is on a mission to walk again, almost 17 years after a car accident rendered her paralyzed from the solar plexus down. I have shared some stories and history in order to establish why my wife's story is even blog-worthy. But I guess I can tell a tidbit of what's going on now to get to the goal of walking.

Obviously neither of us has ever been through the process of getting legs that have not been used on purpose in 17 years to function again. And given that the doctors have decided that its a lost cause, there isn't a lot of professional help insurance or government programs jumping in our direction. The biggest practical help has been the massotherapist, John, who showed us how Deb's leg muscles can be stimulated into responding to outside force. She has actually moved her foot on a couple of occasions, but nothing that has been sustained.

We have thought about this for ages: what can we do besides wishing and hoping that could give Deb real progress toward walking. Well one thing we've tried lately is encouraging (heck, anything that keeps us believing in this cause is encouraging, actually); I have been standing Deb up in the morning.

I always saw the melodramatic TV shows where a person who couldn't use their legs would be forced to drag themselves along a set of parallel bars for countless minutes while their "friend" shouted at them and told them not to give up, either pumping them up or pissing them off enough to drag their lifeless limbs just one more inch. Two weeks later, they're skipping out of the rehab center, thanking Dr. Welby for all he's done for them.

Sorry, I wish I could say that's how its going, but its not. What is happening is that, instead of picking Deb up every morning and placing her in her wheelchair, I grab her around the waist and hoist her up to her feet. At first I thought it was just a good way to give her some creative visualization, seeing herself in the mirror in all her 5' 11" glory, feeding her vision and her passion to walk again. This it did, but what we also found was that her legs actually tried to cooperate! I was nervous that her legs would either spasm and kick, or buckle at the slightest pressure. Neither was the case. Her legs would actually straighten for a moment (as they do when they spasm sometimes) and I found they could actually support maybe 10% of her weight (my uneducated guestimate) as she stood and pivoted into her chair! That first time we did it, we were so overjoyed we cried. We looked at each other as if for reassurance that the slight support her legs gave was actually real, not wishful thinking. It is real, her legs actually straighten and stiffen in response to being lifted up and share in holding her up. Its been about of week of this, and while that is way too soon to expect further progress, it definitely reinforces the idea that we are on to something.

Stay tuned folks...something wonderful is happening!!!

The Power of Thought

My apologies for taking so long to continue the odyssey, there has been a lot going on in our lives, including starting the process of buying a new home. Even that process adds to the awe and inspiration that my Deb manifests. We have been talking about moving for quite some time, but it was always just talk. Deb decides to rejuvenate her positive thinking skills after a watching a video called "The Secret" that talks about the Law of Attraction whereby we attract everything in our lives to ourselves based on our thinking. Anyway, to make a long story short, she decides to write down the house that we want. She types on a piece of paper, "I have a four bedroom ranch house with hardwood floors, a finished basement and an attached garage." (Note that she did not request that it be wheelchair accessible.) A couple of weeks later, she tells the father of a friend of hers, who happens to be a real estate broker, that she's looking for a four-bedroom ranch with hardwood floors, a basement and attached garage.

Now I'm thinking, "There is no way we find exactly that anywhere near our price range". A week later, Charles, the real estate broker calls and wants us to look at a house. In a nice neighborhood, four bedrooms. I decide to humor my wife and go along. We get there and the first thing I see is the attached garage. Ok, so far so good...but I'm just here to look. We get Deborah inside and, low and behold, hardwood floors! Joe says, "...and you have to see the basement. Its finished, with another bathroom and kitchen down there." WOW! It was like Jeanie had said, "Yes, Master!" and blinked her eyes, peeling the house right off the paper slapped it in the middle of this nice middle-class neighborhood.

On the refrigerator was a fragment of the famous poem, Desiderata by Max Ehrmann, which read:

And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore, be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be.
And whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life,
keep peace in your soul.
With all its sham,
drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.

If ever there was a sign, the line, "No doubt the Universe is unfolding as it should" would definitely be one. I was still in knots about the affordability. Charles said we were already preapproved by his financing partner. Then he told me the asking price, which was about 20% less than what I had found for comparable houses in comparable neighborhoods, and that included the improvements that the owner was making! There was just one last hurdle ("here you go, Universe, let me see you handle this!") that my overly-analytical mind was throwing out there: the house was not wheelchair-accessible. I couldn't buy a new home that would be a jail for my Sweetie. Even the current owner jokingly asked why she hadn't put "wheelchair-accessible" on her wish-list. Deb replied that she doesn't like to focus on her disability, but she was sure everything would be ok.

As it turns out, when we went back to see the house a second time, the contractor doing the upgrades for the owner is well-versed in ADA building regulations and had some excellent ideas to make the house comfortable for my wife. He really knew his stuff and being the one making current upgrades, could easily incorporate the designs into what was already being done. Another "WOW!"

Oh, To Be Drug Free!

Deb decided that she no longer wanted to be dependent on drugs. Sure, the drugs were prescribed by doctors, refilled at will at any pharmacy and came in neat little identifiable bottles with the name and dosage instructions. But it was still drugs! Believe it or not, one of the doctors told Deb the first time she was in the hospital that the key to controlling the spasms that came along with her condition was stretching and range of motion. Yet they proceeded to prescribe several medications for it over the years.

There were drugs for pain, drugs for spasms, drugs for bladder control, drugs for constipation caused by drugs for pain and drugs for depression for having to take all those confounded drugs! Deb had enough when it was found that a prescription she had been given for acne was linked to several suicides. That was it.

She had always been both encouraged and intimidated by the time she had gone cold turkey with the pregnancy of my son. Encouraged by the fact that she had survived nine months without any prescription medication, intimidated because of the physical suffering she had endured. Now she was homeschooling and working from home and didn't want to risk bed rest and debilitation that her withdrawal had caused during her pregnancy.

She decided to investigate every natural remedy we could afford, and a couple we couldn't. There was massage therapy, reflexology, herbalists, a doctor of nutripathy, aroma therapy and prayer (there had alway been that, but now maybe a little more specific to the task at hand.) We built up a fair amount of debt because, of course, none of this is covered by insurance, even though it might prevent an awful lot of 'covered' medical bills. However, we had to narrow down her choices to the most beneficial.

Most of these were helpful to some extent, except for one herbalist who felt her wrist and said that her nervous system was dead. [Give me a break, he was scared to deal with anything more than arthritis!] Fortunately, there was Susan Deng. Susan operates a very popular, though very quaint herbalist shop that is as full of charm as it is herbs, teas, roots and supplements. She very professional, in a Western sort of way, while maintaining the quiet, spiritual demeanor of her native China. She was actually a neurosurgeon in China, but did not get certification here in the states. In the "greater good of the universe" sense, that was probably a good thing!

Susan prescribed for my wife an herbal potion that was primarily to help her get over her withdrawal from medication and to relax her muscles. It was a combination of at least 15 exotic looking ingredients (one looked like snake skin, but was actually some sort of bark). Her assistant would take about 1/2 hour measuring out the recipe using a delicate hand-held scale. When boiled, the concoction smelled awful and filled the house with a pungent smell reminiscent of crushed weeds pulled from a garden. The drink actually worked well in controlling my wife's spasms and other assorted aches and pains.

Deb has narrowed her focus of treatments to Susan Deng's treatments (she gets varying mixtures for a variety of internal needs) and her own use of herbal extracts that she has learned from books like Back to Eden and 101 Natural Cures. I've become her massage therapist, working her over like kneaded dough, (she needs deep tissue stimulation, not just relaxation).

Anyway, its been over a year since Deb has taken any medication stronger than Ibuprofen and that's few and far between. No more prescription bottles all over, no more remembering what to take when or what's good for what and best of all, no more side effects. Nothing is making her hair fall out, her skin break out, her digestive system to stop, sleeplessness, drowsiness dizziness, nausea, fatigue or paranoia. She says that even what pain she feels lets her know that she is alive in places she thought she had lost forever. YEAH!!!