I got to spend time with Deb's extended family this Saturday and it hit me where it is she gets some of her positive spirit and inspiration from. It was a clambake hosted by the patriarch of family that fostered her from the time she was 12 until she left for the Army at age 17. I always thought it was a blessing that Deb was brought into a family that truly loved, cared for and accepted her at a time when she could have started making choices that would have led her down a number of paths all too often travelled by young women with troubled childhoods. I found that her situation was more than just luck or coincidence, though I truly believe she attracted herself to the situation through her own imagination and faith. But her case was not unique in the family that I got to know a little better this weekend.
I learned that at least four of the cousins that Deb grew up with were also adopted or fostered into at least 3 different households in this clan. I guess the reason I had never heard this news before was that once accepted into this family, there is no distinction between how one is brought into this family, through birth, marriage or simple heartfelt embrace. Somewhere, this entire clan was instilled with the idea that sharing as much love as possible didn't end with blood ties.
The patriarch of the clan is an executive at NASA with a ton of community involvement and recognition. He greeted everyone at the clambake as if they were the guest of honor. He even remembered that I was fasting until sundown because of the Muslim observance of Ramadhan and that I didn't eat pork. He set aside some all-beef hot dogs cooked separately just for me. It was only the second time he had met me.
Deb's Mom is a very sweet and level-headed woman full of caring as well as grit. Though no one is perfect, she gave my wife just what she needed at a critical point in her life, a stern hand applied with love and caring. She continues today, letting my young adult son stay with her while he gets his life on track. I'm sure she can handle this challenge just as well, if not better, being wiser than before.
I am very grateful to everyone who helped to guide my Deb to be the woman I have come to cherish.
